Insta-Industry Mogul…

I’m looking at all you mid-level stockbrokers who miss your days listening to Black Flag. Now’s your chance to cash in your chips and get your hands on an amazing way to generate tax write-offs: own your own record label. That’s right: Long Gone John, owner of Sympathy for the Record Industry, is selling the whole shebang: back catalog, original masters, distribution and mail order business for $650,000. That sounds like a lot of money, but when you think it gets you first records from the White Stripes, Hole, the Muffs, the (International) Noise Conspiracy, Rocket From the Crypt, Suicide, the Dwarves, New Bomb Turks, and the Von Bondies…well, it still sounds like a lot of money for a bunch of records that no one, outside of perhaps the White Stripes, is gonna buy these days. Not saying the music is without merit–just saying that getting into the distro and mail order business these days probably isn’t the best idea.

My favorite part? The owner’s explanation for why he’s getting out: “The record industry has been complete shit for quite awhile and this morning I was looking at it again and decided it was time. I want to solicit real interest” (as quoted in The Daily Swarm). I guess you can’t accuse him of trying to polish a turd, but have you ever heard someone try and sell something using this tactic?

“Check out this van I’ve got for sale–only 385,000 miles. Yeah, it’s been burning a shitload of oil recently, and I’m pretty sure the title’s missing, the breaks are shot and there’s a dead guy in the back…how about we say $10,000 and you drive it away?”

Shit, that could be the posting for TNA’s tour van.

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