Behold, the nightmare: Endeverafter

 

Liu Kang has a band? Cool.

While researching the Bronx (and Crush Management) I stumbled upon the missing link between mall emo and hair metal (for more on the connection, see this mtv.com blog post that pretty much nails it (did I just say MTV nailed something?)): that missing link is Endeverafter. These guys are doing their best to bring Poison’s sensibility to shitty, Avenged-Sevenfold-meets-Panic!-at-the-Disco-in-the-food-court hair metal (I’m sure they’ll name check Zeppelin and Guns n’ Roses and the like but I’m calling a spade a spade). Problem is, they’re blowing it. You gotta stay in character. “Bad boy” lead singer Michael Grant may play horndog badass for the camera, with porn actresses in their videos and plenty of shirtless pictures, but his myspace page lists his favorite movies as “GARDEN STATE, Vanilla Sky, Fight Club, Lost in Translation, Almost Famous, Shaun of the Dead, Elizabethtown, No Direction Home.” You think Axl Rose’s favorite movies are a buncy of weepy, coming-of-age Cameron Crowe tearjerkers (which I happen to like, by the way) and that movie directed by the young man’s Ray Romano? And a Bob Dylan documentary? Hell no, his favorite cinema-related events are doing rails with Behind the Green Door and homebrew porno going in the background. Walk it like you talk it, kid. You don’t get to be a rock and roll cliche and a sensitive guy who cares about her orgasm and writes livejournal poetry. That’s just not the way things work.

What the hell do I know. These guys are probably gonna make a boat load of money. If you want to watch softcore porn set to a Winger cover, here’s their music video.

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3 Comments

  1. nice mortal combat ref.

  2. your an idiot.

  3. Judging by the spelling, I’m guessing that last response was from a member of the band.


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